Hi I'm 20f and I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for what I've done.. I'm very ashamed to say this but I've broken hearts of people who were really kind to me and genuinely wanted good for me..My mind constantly reminds me of what I've done in the past and how much they still are hurt (i know they are hurt because we have common friends).The guilt gets so bad at times where it makes me want to unalive myself maybe because that would be better, i feel ashamed to say this but I'm currently in a cycle of selfharm because it feels better than the guilt.
i have a lot childhood trauma including all kind of abuse you can think of and i struggle a lot when it comes to my mental health but when I went to a professional they said it's normal "teenage behaviour" but i swear it's not. I don't know what to do my parents won't let me see any more doctors. I'm currently saving money to get myself an appointment as I am a student.
If anyone has anything to say please do share i can't explain how helpful it would be. Also I looked up my symptoms and it's most likely hyper ADHD, bipolar disorder, depression and hyper anxiety.
