To make a long story short my boyfriend has a female roommate living with him and his parents because she needs help getting on her feet. I’ve been a bitch about it, I’m becoming controlling via monitoring what he is doing and I don’t like it when they hang out. I have talked to him about my jealousy issues and he is completely undertanding and has even gone as far to promise not to hang out with her alone. I hate being all insecure and a jerk, and I need therapy. I have an appointment set up for the 17 of next month because that was the earliest I could get in, and I don’t know how long I will be able to last with these intrusive fears thinking of them spending alone tome together, him finding her beautiful, her flirting. He is the love of my life and I’m so scared of losing him. I’ve always struggled with insecurities thinking I’m not enough.
The problem is that I trust my boyfriend. I have no reason not to trust him, so why do I feel this way? How can I cope with these unhealthy thoughts until I get into therapy without ruining my relationship? I know this is wrong but I just don’t know how to control my emotions. I have OCPD and anxiety so it’s generally harder for me in situations like this.