I cannot shake these horrible thoughts, my mind is full of terrible ideas I know will destroy so much I’ve build.
I have been there, I’ve done things just for the sake of feeling something real and it’s not the place I want to drift to
It feels like it’s too much to focus on, because it’s all little issues that build up and trying to focus on one makes me neglect the others so I’m left overwhelmed and really struggling with what I need to do to fix my life
It’s hard because this feels like it’s becoming a regular thing it’s too often I end up feeling like this, until it passes and comes back so much worse.
I’m living with no direction and it feels like so much is passing by and everything will be over by the time I fix it.
I’m torn on who I wanna be, on what I can do to make my life better because I’m genuinely trying to do things and it’s all for nothing. I feel trapped and unable to express anything about myself. I’m scared constantly.
I don’t feel comfortable reaching out to any friends, as much as I think it’s in my head. I don’t see the ones I help actually caring. I’ve gotten one word responses and just blatant messages back before and sometimes the friendship feels really one sided as far as help or even understanding goes.
I’m glad their in a happy place now, but I don’t feel like I can go to them the same way they went to me.