I can’t take it, anymore. I’m not good enough and never will be. Too many things to do. Too many things to overcome. Absolutely no reward. Just continous suffering and no real peace whatsoever.
My whole life was a mess and I can’t describe how disgusting and pathetic I feel. I look around and so many of my friends and family have way better lives. I’m just slowly deteriorating in the process.
I never believed in true joy and I don’t think anything can change that. I’m sorry.