Ever since I could remember, started around 8- 10, never stopped.
It’s been 10+ years and it has never calmed down, never ever, I thought it was just a normal part of being a teen but it’s gotten worse and more disgusting as I got older.
I can’t help it, I can’t fucking help it, everything needs to be sexualized, my art, everything I wear, the things I talk about, everything, I’ve been sexualizing my poor hygiene caused to deteriorating mental health, it’s so fucking gross, but it makes me feel so calm and comforted.
Everything, everything everything I do needs to be sexualized, my struggles needs to be sexualized, everything.
I’ve developed weird kinks due to being exposed to them at a young age, they just never left, I indulge and indulge and indulge only to have them become more extreme and gross.
Everything I do needs to be sexual, every single little thing, everything I make, everything I think about, it’s clogging up my fucking mind and I can’t get a break, not even a 10 minute break where I can just be normal.
I don’t have a history of abuse, which confuses me, I don’t know why I’m like this which just makes me hate it even more.
It’s so comforting
So safe
I wish it could just stop
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