I got denied an apartment. This has never happened and I’m in total despair now. My finances have always been shakey, but I worked hard, found a better paying job, worked on my credit. I thought I would at least be approved but pay a higher deposit. When I went to see my screening report from this Rentgrow company, it showed inaccurate reports and I did the adult thing and made my disputes. But overall? I feel hopeless. I feel despair. I usually can pick myself up but now I feel like total fucking fuck up and failure in life and I matter how much I work or how hard I try, it really isn’t worth it. I've worked so fucking hard the past few years to better my life and better myself. I've realized the past few months that literally anything remotely stressful makes me want to just end it all. It never ends, that thought of ending things. The thought of just ending it now is always in the back of my mind but today it screams loud. I know it's stupid to feel like this over something that seems so trivial in the grand scheme of things. But this…with everything else going on in my life…I just don't know I can go on much longer. I'm tired. I'm so tired. I don't remember the last time I was legitimately happy. I'm just over it.
