Hello r/mentalhealth, I’ve created this account just so I can share my problem and get some possible feedback and help.
for the past year or so, my dad has moved away to a town 2h away from us because of work. Everything has been okay, his relationship with my mom is not the best but it’s okay. They vid call each other and talk about their day and vid call with our relatives. They do fight sometimes but i believe it’s like any married couple. However my dad has started developing some problems. We’ll technically the problems started a while back before he moved away.
So my dad works at a job where he’s “active on the field” and he’s in charge, so he’s always getting calls from his bosses or co-workers and he’s a very hard worker almost too hard working, however, after some problems have happened in his work, he moved to another position where he only works from his desk, so he’s not as active as he used to be. That sent him into a spiral, he stopped talking to my mom or to us. stopped eating and stopped hanging out with us. any tiny disagreement with my mom and he starts going crazy, he starts bringing up very very old arguments They had and very very old family matters, like before I was even born kind of old. One time he like pushed my mom a little bit, not enough for her to fall or anything but he did technically become “physical” so I went out of my room and screamed at him to not put his hands on her. guess what he did? he held me up high by my neck and started screaming “m gonna throw u in the ocean you and your mom” keep in mind I’m a 5″2 a fairly petite and he’s 6″1 or 6″2.
(side note: he never layed a hand on me before or on my mom or sister or anyone)
I did not talk to him that week and he was trying to sweet talk me into forgiving him, and buying random food and giving me money.
skip forward to 2 months when he got his usual “active on field” job back. and he started doing better and laughing more and being “happy” and didn’t argue with my mom are any of us ever again.
until these last few months and especially these past 2 or 3 weeks. he stopped answering to my mom’s calls or his mom’s calls (my grandma), he occasionally answers my calls tho.
my mom went to the town where he’s staying at to visit him and found the house in a very bad state (cleanliness wise), he started arguing with her for seemingly nothing, like bringing up any argument he can. and my mo said that he’s in a very bad state, she said “he looks like the very depressed ppl we see in movies”, I hope that helps clear up the image.
we can’t move to where he’s at, because I have a very important exam coming up (final year of highschool), so pls don’t suggest moving cz that’s out of the picture for now.
My mom asked me for help but I’m very clueless and idk what to do, so here I am asking for advice from anyone that might be a professional or has any similar experience.
ps: we can’t get him to go to a therapist, cz again we’re away from him and it’s going to be a very very very hard task to do and he doesn’t “believe” in therapists
