i don’t even know if what my father is doing is abuse or not. I am the type of person who always justifies others actions and everytime I stand up from myself I feel guilty, even if I don’t express anything and just feel upset about something I feel [guilty. ](https://guilty.My)I don’t trust my father, he is very explosive and I think often abusive. I am worried when he is with my mother and have been nervous since I was a child. I always though he would seriosuly harm her or something. He has been so loving and caring towards me and I think that really confused me as a kid (although I am not very old now, I am just 17). Every time he would do something , he would come up to me and tell me that I should not worry if he did something crazy or abusive. Now that I think about I think it was just to avoid the responsibility but I don’t know it is really hard for me to acknowledge when someone is abusive especially my father. I cant admit that he is toxic without feeling guilty and always doubt my feelings. My parents just had a fight and I think they are still fighting. I really need some comfort
