I’ve done years of therapy. Countless partial programs, inpatients, and ive done residentials for my eating disorder. Ive been on all kinds of meds, and have trued making positive changes in my lifestyle. I’m 24, and have self harmed since I was 12 or 13. I suffer from undiagnosed chronic pain, major depressive disorder, anxiety+ocd, and ptsd. I don’t know what to do. I’m too unwell to stay safe or sometimes care for myself, but hospitals just arent helping anymore. And the treatment is very limited where I live, and I cannot afford to go out of state.
I dont know what to do. No matter what, at some point or another, I go back to my unhealthy coping skills- sometimes even when im not depressed, like now. I dont see a future for me, or a good one at least, if I cant find a way to get better and keep a job without having to quit because the stress makes me want to d1e, or because of my chronic pain.