My best friend (16F) and I (16M) have hit a roadblock in our friendship… she left me because I didn't appriciate her enough… atleast on the surface… I loved her so fucking much… from the moment she left me I can barely sleep (7 hours from the past 2 night), can barely eat, and I started drinking… I can't cope with the feeling… It's been more that 48 hours (it was monday, now it's wednesday), and I just keep missing her more and more… I'm a complete mess, and she isn't up for bargaining… the first time she told me I begged for one and a half hour but she didn't give in… I thought (because she's that kind of person) that letting her calm down would help… I left her 2 days, and today I told her how I've been for the past 2 days… but she didn't give in… the worst feeling was when on monday I told her that I need her she told me she doesn't need me… she doesn't need this… this has been occupying my mind ever since… but when I told her I love her she said she loves me too… today I asked her if she still loves me, and she first said she's not sure, but a few texts later she was sure she doesn't love me anymore… (It's the short form, I'll leave the whole thing in the comments)
this is the point where you think about moving on with your life it’s probably your first heartbreak and ik it stings that shit hurts so much you can’t think about anything else but that person. this is where you choose what you want tho ??? You need friends especially guy friends you can to about all this but what worked for me was completely erasing that women from my life and picking up new hobbies go play a sport or join a bookclub or whatever everything is better than being lonely. Drowning in alcohol usually leads to more toxicity and loneliness
It sounds like you could use a therapist to help you get through this but one thing that stands out is that you invested so much of yourself into this friendship to an unhealthy level. People come and go from our lives and we experience different types of relationships with each of them. Having one best friend who is your entire world isn’t the way you want to have your life – it’s like all your eggs in one basket and you are suffering the consequences of dropping that basket. She has clearly decided she needs to move on from this, and it’s actually quite understandable since she is dating someone. It is time for you to move on from this and to build your networks up without trying to repeat by finding someone else to have that level of dependence on. I suggest you definitely give up the alcohol (it’s just escapism and it doesn’t help in the long run), and look to try to make more friends by engaging in activities that you enjoy in group settings.
Good luck, it’s not the end of the world – keep your chin up.
I (16M) and my best friend (16F) have hit a bit of a roadblock when it comes to out friendship… I’ve fucked up a bit… we were closer than most friends… it was almost like a relationship, but without the physical attractionn. We caressed each other, hugged each other, always told each other that we love the other, always ended the day with good night texts and began with good morning texts and things like that… we were so close that I couldn’t even imagine losing her… the friendship was rocky for the most part, but we managed to stay friends… she never told me that she had any problems with me… just one time, when she told me that she wants to spend less time with me. It hurt me for a bit, but then I got over it. She never mentioned it again. Now for context, I suffer from a lack of love, and I wished to fulfill it with her. So I encouraged (almost forced) her to express her love as she wasn’t the best at it. She was the first to admit that she has to learn to become a better person, so I kept up encouraging her to express her love. In the meantime she got a partner. She told me that we’re both just as important to her as the other… that changed, she admitted that she feels different now… it hurt me… I couldn’t get over it for a few weeks… we talked about it, but she didn’t really like it… that incident ruined me, and from then on I became more and more jealous which of course I held back as well as I could, but sometimes I slipped up… the last time we argued wasn’t because of this, but rather a different thing on sunday… It was because she wanted to do something thet would result in me getting less love from her than I got before… later I apologised in a few texts, which she only read the next day (monday). She said that she needs time to decide on things, which I gave her. The same daz she texted me that she want’s to end the friendship… I begged her for forgiveness for one and a half hour, to no result… she told me to leave her alone forever, and to end the friendship… I told her that I need her, and I can’t live without her as she was part of daily life (we texted every day for hours)… she told me she doesn’t need me… she doesn’t need this… she also told me that she had anxiety because of me, and she thought she wasn’t enough… I told her that that’s not true, but it didn’t matter. I told her that I love her even still, and she said back that she loves me aswell. I left her for a while… today I texted her to tell her that I can’t sleep, I barely eat and I started drinking. I only asked for a chance similiar to what one of her other friends got (she gone out with her, so that she could prove she can be a good friend)… she didn’t care about it, she told me she’s sorry that I’m in this state, but she doesn’t want this friendship any longer… I begged for 2 hours to no result… I told her that if she loves me even still then she shouldn’t let this friendship go to waste, but she first told me she’s not sure she loves me, and then straight up told me she doesn’t love me anymore… she begged me to leave her for good, and so I did… she’s a classmate, and we work a job together aswell, so it’ll just sting even more… From the moment she told me to leave her for good I’ve been crying, drinking, throwing up and all that… I love her so fucking much… if she told me about her problems then I would’ve changed things… but she kept quiet… I hate myself for doing this to her… I still hope she regrets it, because she said that she misses me a bit even still… I’m a complete mess… I slept 7 hours the past 2 nights combined… should I go to a psychologist or do what? I have almost no other friends… she was the only true friend I had, that I could spend time with whenever I felt like it… nothing else occupies me… she was my only “hobby”… I feel like life is no longer worth it without her… I know I’m the one at fault, but she should have told me about those problems…