So for a little context I guess I’ve never posted on here or even thought of until I’ve been thinking a lot lately. I’m active duty Army atm and I was recently diagnosed with PTSD/ Major Depressive disorder and Anxiety.
I’m married and have a beautiful daughter and about to have my son in a couple days. I also have an amazing wife that has supported me during my career in the military. After I was diagnosed with my “conditions” it really broke me. I always thought of myself as a strong person that can endure the worst and come out the other side ok. I thought I was doing good for some years but ig I wasn’t who I thought I was. I lost a grip on things and lost interest in almost everything I once loved. Physical health, mental health, my kid, and pretty much my friends too.
I got help, went to Behavioral health and was given meds and stuff and I was taking them but I didn’t feel happy, since then I’ve stopped taking them and now I feel stuck in limbo if constantly unhappy and everyday is a struggle for me to keep moving forward and stay focused in a sense. I’m having my son in a couple days like I said, the sad fact is that I’m not even that excited and Ik I should be. I keep looking at photos of myself when I was “myself” and I don’t even see a resemblance anymore. I genuinely hate myself now and I can’t even stand looking in the mirror. I don’t know what to do. Any thoughts? Feel free to comment what you think. If you read this or don’t, feels good at least to share I guess.