My brain won’t let me be happy
My brain is constantly just on the go, I feel like it’s split in two. A part of me is trying desperately to make others happy putting myself bellow anybody and tries to take up as little space as possible wishing to be invisible and the other part calling me a dumb bitch for caring so much, that I’m weak and it’s making people dislike me more because I just can’t be honest with them. I can’t be alone in silence because then I go into a spiral of negative thoughts but most of the time I’m with others my mind pollutes my happiness with these awful thoughts that are not me, disgusting images and thoughts about the people around me and ruins everything. All my happiness eventually gets ruined by my own brain and I don’t know how to silence it.