My father passed away last June but besides crying the day it happened I haven’t cried really. I do miss him a lot and I’m getting little emotional writing this but my mother and other family members have cried for weeks after it happening. I think it has to do with me being the main caregiver for my family. I took care of everything… my little siblings from giving baths too schooling, shopping, cooking, being there for my mom when she was going through the process of everything, paying for my own father cremation, being full time college student, and a lot of other stuff but I don’t wanna get into it. I just wanna know is this normal ?
I think it is normal, to some extent. Sometimes it’s a matter of it not “hitting you yet,” and sometimes it just trying to separate yourself from uncomfortable emotions subconsciously. Make sure you’re giving yourself time and space to feel the emotions, but they may manifest differently than you anticipate. I experienced a loss almost two years ago and barely cried, I think because it was one that I knew was coming, I’d been able to sort of prepare myself for it. Another loss two months later ruined me, and I still cry over it. Not because I was closer to one than the other, but just because our brains and bodies don’t always make sense, or do what we expect. There’s no wrong way to grieve, and I think this is a normal response.
I am sorry for your loss. Maybe you are affraid that if you cry you’ll break down. But you think that you can’t afford that since you have to be the caregiver.
Everyone handles loss differently so don’t feel ashamed or anything if you aren’t crying as much as another person. I wouldn’t necessarily compare your grieving process since they are so unique.
If you’re worried, maybe look into a few therapy sessions?
But if you feel like you are understanding and processing the event, and in a healthy way, then maybe you were just better prepared for the loss mentally and emotionally.
FYI when I lost my birth mom I was in shock and barely cried for a year.
When I lost my grandma who raised me like a mom I cried for weeks. Because I knew what loss could be like and didn’t want to go through it again.
When I lost my grandfather who raised me like my dad I cried for a day. Because at that point I found more peace in knowing he had a long and full life… and I value time spent together vs time lost now.
Firstly, I’m so sorry for your loss.
I can’t begin to understand what you’re going through but I can relate to you to some extent. My father is one of my favourite people on this earth, I love him dearly and we’re incredibly close but he’s currently going through a very difficult mental health battle and recently went missing for a short period with the intent to take his own life. thankfully, he was found by police before he could and is now recieving help.
I have always had to parent my parents and take control over the situation to some extent and have to shove my emotions as far down as possible when things like this happen. I still haven’t cried or processed what has happened and I know that it’ll hit me out of nowhere at some point. I’m a very emotional person and cry all the time but this time, the tears just won’t come.
The way that you’re feeling is normal. There is no right or wrong way to grieve or process but when the emotions do finally release, make sure you have a good support network in place and don’t suffer in silence.
Wishing you all the best!
it’s ingrained in us to try not too. But with something like this, you can’t hold it in. I would talk to a therapist at least for a little bit. If you hold this stuff in it will ruin your health eventually. I know from experience.