my mom often stares at me or smiles when she sees me, saying “Oh wow” and “You are so big lol” ” It was better, it looks too fat lol” after I gained weight. how can I deal with IT?

It has been since i was younger like She said “oh, it doesn’t look good lol” when I just tied my hair. I am now 23, planning to move out in a year. but I need to bear with it at least a year. It is better as i studied abroad and forgot about her for a while, but as i am here again, it feels terrible. I can not wear short sleeves in front of her. Also my dad, he once said “oh you gained weight wow”. they also mentioned my sister, she never be fat. but like “your face is too round” “your skin…….” or whatever.

today i told her that it is terrible to say, but she looked like “ah, ok” but felt nothing about that.

how can i deal with these old people? I miss living alone, but as i am a working student, it is impossible to move out now. as I am from Japan, the beauty standard is quite annoying and might be normal that parents say something about children’s body. honestly, they are so sweet parents. they do anything for me. but not about this. even if i love them and i need them so much i feel the urge to punch their face when they say mean about my body.

please help me…. I always feel concerned about going out and being in public.

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