TW: TTC/ Miscarriage (didn’t see this as an option)
My sister has claimed to be pregnant at least 10 times in the past two years, all resulting in miscarriage. In the being I felt incredibly bad for her, I was saddened that she was dealing with something like this; especially because my husband and I had been dealing with fertility issues for many years. However, recently, within the last year and half, Ive started to piece things together, ultimately leading me to the conclusion, that she’d never been pregnant with these ten.
Things started to get even more intense with her becoming “pregnant” once my husband and I finally conceived. She sent me several negative test and seriously believed they were positive, I know line eyes are a thing (I think this is much more than that); she started planning out what both our pregnancies would look like since we’re “pregnant” together…even though she wasn’t pregnant. I have received negative pregnancy test from her for the past 6 months now, every 2 months..followed by a phone call. I hate that I can’t give her the excitement but I don’t want to encourage this? Should I play along? Or should I gently confront her about it? Just received another “pregnancy” phone call/text this week.
Edit: to add, her spouse has a vasectomy and she has two children about middle school age from a prior relationship.
If the spouse gotten a vasectomy, why is she thinking she’s pregnant? I’m really confused on that part, because I thought when you get a vasectomy, that means no more kids?
Is she suffering from some form of mental illness, like delusions? It sounds like she needs some professional help.
Munchausen syndrome?
It sounds like she may genuinely believe it. People with this mental health symptom often get treated very poorly, so I’d be gentle with her if you can. I think it might be ok to express skepticism if you can do it gently, but I’d let her know you understand it’s real to her and that you know her feelings about it are real.
I was in psychosis years ago and was convinced I was pregnant (spoiler: I wasn’t). It was incredibly traumatizing because of the people who were unkind to me about it, but the people who were kind to me regardless still hold a special place in my heart.
Oh also, please know that when she reports she has a miscarriage she may genuinely be grieving her nonexistent baby. This can be a good in to get her in for some mental health help though – if you frame it as getting mental health support around a miscarriage you might be able to get her in front of a mental health professional who can assist further
I know all of this is easier said than done and I wish you the best OP, but this is the best advice I can think of.
Sounds delusional. What does her husband think of this behavior?
She needs psychological help
Do you feel comfortable talking to her husband about it? Is he aware and getting pulled into this as well? Maybe you can both talk to your sister together and do a mini-intervention?
She’s suffering from mental illness. She needs help. Unfortunately if you try to even suggest she get such help you will be subjected to even more issues.
Dealing with people like this is VERY draining.
You do not and should not continue to deal with it.
You can try to distance yourself from her and simply not respond. If you respond in any way, texting back or picking up the phone and listening to her, it is only giving her the attention she’s craving and she will continue living in these delusions until well after she’s had menopause and possibly even until she’s in the grave.
Don’t encourage it, you can suggest to others closest to her (her spouse etc) that she should seek help.
If he sees no issue then don’t insert yourself further.
Keep your distance.
Sorry you’ve had to deal with this for two years, especially after you finally conceived after struggling for ages.
Sounds like she’s either trying to compete with you for the attention you’ve gotten over finally conceiving, compete with your child for your attention, or to match your lifestyle and keep up with you based on some weird codependency issues. A lot of people, especially women, feel the need to emulate the people in their life so as not to be left behind.
Either way, this is pretty unhealthy behaviour and not something you want your child to experience. Especially because she’s forcing you into the caretaker role in order to make sure you centre her, possibly over your child – and if she’s competing for attention now, imagine how much worse she’ll get and how she’ll treat your kid once they get older and require more from you?
OP if/when u decide to confront please make sure it’s in a safe and controlled environment and have a plan in case she reacts badly. Both your and her safety should be a priority. I do also think you should speak with your sister’s partner to have a better understand of the situation and get multiple opinions from different doctors/professionals regarding what your sister may be experiencing and what their plan of action/treatment would be. I hope your sister gets better and your situation improves🫶🏼 Best of luck.
I think she needs a therapist. There’s a very real mental illness that can cause this.
she sound delusional
Confront her because what the actual hell ☠️… that’s weird and also horrible if she’s lying about miscarriages. I’ve personally had one and their traumatic and horrible and scary and painful and just all around terrible so why would she want to lie about that?