^ discussing negative intrusive thoughts and rumination
Hi everyone,
I (22F) have been noticing that when I am at my family home, I have much more intense late night negative thoughts, more so than when I am at my university accommodation.
I believe what triggered it is last year I strangely got very attached to the whole titanic submersible situation, and I would find that my mind was flooded with ruminating thoughts about mortality every night before I fell asleep for a while, and it was a really difficult time. When it comes to overthinking mortality, it is tough to ‘solve’ the issue as it is inescapable, so I imagine I probably just tried to push all that away, and just tried to enjoy myself and think happy thoughts instead.
The last year at university has been pretty good, but being back home occasionally this summer I’m finding that I’m feeling this way before bed once again.
The feeling is really dark, and stressful, I seem to feel a pit in my chest, and I have all these intrusive thoughts about my life, which I can feel myself trying to ignore, which almost makes it’s feel worse now. I’d say it’s similar to most late night negative thinking, but more intense.
Just to clarify, I did not grow up in this home, we moved here a couple years ago.
I’m moving back home very soon, and I sort of urgently need some advice on how to fix this, because it’s extremely unpleasant. At first I felt I needed to sage the room, because maybe there was bad energy. I’ve tried meditating, but I don’t really want to do this every night.
Anything would help, short term and long term.