I, 22f, have always had insomnia. Ever since I was very young and before I had a phone. But it’s not just that I have a hard time falling asleep (I now take medication for that). It is IMPOSSIBLE for me to get up in the morning. Even in high school, my mother would wake me up several times in the morning for school, to the point of pouring cold water on my face and bed to get me up. And unfortunately, not much has changed.
I’ll wake up to an alarm, but in my half asleep state I convince myself that I need just 15 more minutes, 5 more minutes, even 3 more minutes of sleep, and then I’ll get up. But that never actually happens and I sleep in much later than intended. This problem I have has affected my attendance at work, causing me to lose 2 jobs because of it. I’m now in hot water for job number 3 and I really can’t be fired again. I feel like if this was just me being lazy, I would have learned my lesson by now. But still, every night before I go to sleep, I PROMISE myself that the next day will be different. And it never is.
I’m able to get up for things I’m really excited for, like vacations and day trips and things. But even on weekends, if I have nothing to do, I sleep through them.
I’m so ashamed of myself and I want more than anything for this to stop but I don’t even know where to begin. Is this a thing people have heard of? Is this a symptom of adhd or depression (I have both). I’m so lost and I want help but I don’t know where to start.