In my early 30s and have hit the wall. I wake up, go to work, come home and sit on the couch, eat dinner drink some beers go to bed and do it all over again. I have 3 kids which I love very much but these kids are not kids like I was. They don’t want to play outside or ride bikes, hike, fish or build stuff all they want to do is play video games. My wife doesn’t touch me anymore even though I have always expressed affection towards her. Until I recently found out she is talking to someone else which answers that question. I’ve been the sole provider for my family and wife since I was 21 and I just feel like I’ve wasted everything. I have no savings account, live paycheck to paycheck and live in a house full of my wife’s dead parents stuff which leaves me unmotivated to do anything because there is no space. Its cluttered and I have to move stuff to get to stuff to do anything. I have no money to dispose of unwanted items the list of things I want to do is large but I lack the motivation and drive to do so. I find myself wanting something different than what I have but I know that’s not true. I constantly have urges to just break everything and destroy my entire house and anything I can get my hands on. I want to hurt ppl and I feel that this is unfair. My dog is dying of cancer and he is my only friend. I want to get into my truck and disappear.
