idk how to get better

i'm really trying to make it stop but recently i'm filled with "passive suicide thoughts" i don't even have the energy to shower i'm disgusting and i don't recognize myself in the mirror i'm a 19yo...

What do I have

So I have a quick question relating to what I have or what I am experiencing: Often times (Almost everyday) I'll have social interactions (mostly at work) where I will after said interaction not remember certain...

What could this be?

Whenever someone is talking to me about literally anything, I pick a few words or a word out of what they are saying and start singing a song out loud that has that word or exact...