Im good until i’m not, from years 15-19 i was really depressed from more than half the time, i’m 22 now and the past 3 years have been a lot better but worse at the same time the dark periods have gotten way worse from when i was constantly depressed it really is agonizing and feeling like im living in pure hell and i need to get out, there’s been 4 instances the last two being the death of my dog and the last just recently got out of a 2 month relationship with the best looking woman i’ll probably ever get. i’ve never even had a relationship before that’s lasted that long. i’m very socially awkward when it’s not me and one other person, I have such a small world i don’t really have friends just acquaintances i hang with for maybe 3 times a year or when i see them in public. One thing i’ve noticed is that i rely on other people for happiness and when that’s taken away my purpose is gone. I really want a relationship that will last, any good places to look ? but also just really depressed and lonely right now, i’ve been praying a lot and talking to God about it. I’m pretty picky but that’s my only future there’s no if or ands about it.
i don’t really see my family that often.
What i really need right now is to feel better but every second is me thinking about her and the times we had. I feel this may be the ultimate test from god because it gets worse every time. if there’s no one for me i’m not doing this alone there’s no way
Sorry to hear that, being introvert and relying on others for happiness is not the best combination out there. What I could suggest is to start something completely new, a new skill or hobby so you could meet new people and also improve your skill tree. This could be anything from learning a new language and reading books to going to the gym or some sports. When you start achieving something, you will become way happier in life, especially after you see all the progress you’ve made. And of course you always can make online friends with a single message just remember you are never alone in these situations.