i’ve been battling major depression for 3 years now, but at this point i feel completely helpless. i don’t want my battle to end here because i owe it to myself and my family to stay.
the reason i’m writing this is to ask what more i can do. reaching out for help and support was the hardest thing i could’ve done in a household that does not believe in the existence of mental health, and a shitty health insurance where the options for therapists are very limited and hard to get started.
however, i’ve done both and finally am just now seeing a therapist who sits there staring at me with pity and i mean her techniques r just not working. like for example, she talks about my “sadness” and “anger” in the third person and then makes me close my eyes and talk to it by asking it questions and responds “how does she feel abt that”. ive had a similar experience w a school therapist and am starting to believe talk therapy is not the solution.
i want to be tested and i want direct answers and diagnoses and someone who can help me better understand my circumstances through treatment and idk it feels like everytime i try seeing a therapist they sit there and stare at me in silence, making me talk the WHOLE entire time. and when it’s clear i have nothing more to say, continue to stare at me in silence it makes my skin crawl and makes me SO uncomfortable and sick.
i’m in so much agony everyday of my life and no matter how hard i try to work on myself atp i think it’s simply a chemical imbalance in my brain that needs to be addressed.
i want to specifically see a psychiatrist who can give me the meds to help me out of this but my insurance won’t cover anyone and idk what other resources i have.
pls this is a cry for help idk how much more fight i have left.