My (24M) girlfriend (23F) was diagnosed with MS (Multiple Sclerosis) about 2 years ago. For those who don’t know, MS is a neurological disease which vastly affects your life over time, causing fatigue and motor issues. Many MS patients eventually end up in a wheelchair.
The cause for MS depends on a huge array of different factors, both genetic and environmental. However, what scientists have found is a strong correlation between having contracted EBV (also known as kissing disease) in your teens and developing MS. As some may know, contracting EBV is something most people do before adulthood, even if it’s asymptomatic. Those who have had EBV are 32 times more likely to get MS.
Anyways, 4-5 years back, my girlfriend dated an acquaintance of mine, a friend of a friend whom I’ve meet only in groups of other people, but someone I’ve still spent a fair amount of time with. During the time they dated, he cheated on her with multiple different girls. She broke it off with him and then got EBV. A few years later she was diagnosed with MS. Basically, he is the cause of my girlfriend having this horrible, potentially life-altering disease. Of course he never intended for such a thing to occur, but it still happened because of his immoral behavior.
I’ve tried not to think about this but it’s very difficult.
Hi! I have relapsing-remitting MS. I was diagnosed in my late twenties and had mono in 7th grade.
You are correct about the link between the two. I would be angry too if I were either of you. In my case, I developed mono because I was just sick with tonsillitis and strep throat and a billion other things for a few years and caught EBV probably through sports or something since kissing wasn’t a priority at age 13.
Try to keep in mind that although 98% of people with MS had mono at some point, the majority of people who have mono don’t go on to develop MS. Put another way, your girlfriend was already susceptible to developing MS due to an endless number of environmental, genetic, and other factors, and contracting mono / EBV was the likely trigger for her to eventually have it turn into MS.
It sucks. There is no way of getting around that. But for whatever it is worth, MS isn’t a death sentence. Far from it. You’d never know I have it unless I told you. I’m a full-time law student, work at a law firm 30ish hours per work, I play sports, I still take ballet classes, I have zero mobility issues or physical symptoms… I do get tired a little more easily than other people, but that could just as easily be attributable to the fact that law school and work are exhausting. I’ve had it for over ten years now and I’m just as healthy and active as anyone else – maybe even more, since now I am acutely aware of how important it is to treat my body well.
If she follows her medication protocol (I take an oral medication, Vumerity, twice a day) and stays active and eats well, she has an excellent chance of living a full and healthy life.
My heart aches for both of you – she’s lucky to have you in her support system. To the best of your ability, try to focus on supporting her rather than resenting him. She needs you right now, and this needs to be about her rather than your feelings about the situation.
It’s going to be okay. 💛💛💛
The incubation period for EBV is very long. Unless he had it and knew about it, there’s no way to say for sure that she got it from him. If he had it and was asymptomatic, it’s not like he intentionally gave it to her. Your feelings are definitely valid, but over 90% of people end up getting EBV. You’ve probably had it and just didn’t know. 90% of people don’t end up with MS.
Your friend didn’t cause it, as in that you couldn’t prove that. You can guess they did, but so could other factors, you’re just using the limited knowledge you have to come to that conclusion.
I’m not saying that to be a dick, I’m saying that to help you realise that you’re guessing the reason and having an emotional and mental response to something that may not be the actual case.
You can also get EBV from things like sharing cups. The “kissing disease” name is a bit of a misnomer for this reason. While he may have picked it up by cheating in this particular instance, it’s not like it’s an STD.
Well, if Mono can give you MS, then I’m more in trouble than I thought!!!