We all have that first true love. And this girl was all the way mine. I shared my first kiss with her, first everything really. Everything started out really great at first, but slowly things started to change. My sister, who I hadn’t seen or heard from in years had contacted me on Facebook, and with that and having this girl in my life I was the happiest I’ve ever been, the only downside was my home life which I’ve recently moved away from. But around the time that my sister contacted me, this girl said she began noticing a change in me, one that I, nor anybody else in my life could notice. Now she herself has been through very shitty relationships, so I understand she worries about a lot of things, but so have I, and because of this, I started trying to “fix” myself, this caused me to feel like I was running circles in my mind trying to find this problem, this change, but in reality I feel as if at that point I was the happiest I’ve ever been in a long time, and I was told that she was trying to make it a problem but I just don’t know. Then things started spiraling a couple months later, she canceled getting graduation photos taken with me, which obviously upset me as graduation is a once in a lifetime thing and wanting to spend my life with her I felt as though we should get a few pictures taken together. She didn’t like the idea of it because she felt as if she would look like shit and didn’t want me to have to look at it for the rest of my life. I have self esteem issues myself, so I completely understand, but it did upset me. Then about a week before my prom, she cancelled that too, which again I was very upset about. But instead we had decided we would go to Funopolis because that’s what she wanted to do, and I agreed. But a few days before prom, she asked me if I could take her, I said no because I felt like it would make prom feel less special if we just kept going, which we had already been once a few days before this argument happened, but this upset her as she didn’t understand how it would make it less special, and she said she felt as if I was controlling her by not taking her. She said we needed to talk in person, so I went over to her house and that’s when she broke up with me. Her first reason being that because she felt like I was controlling her and then because she said she needed to work on herself. She never understood why I feel the way I do about things, she always said communicate is important and that I needed to get better at it, but when I would try and communicate she would get angry, or upset. But we’ve been broken up since and I don’t know what to do, I feel lost without her, I truly did believe I would be spending the rest of my life with her. I tell myself that if it was meant to be then it would work out in due time but I’m running out of hope. I put a serious amount of effort into this relationship and it hurts that it’s ending like this.
