Self hatred.

I’ve been hating myself a lot lately.
I don’t normal talk about my emotions online or at all.
I’ve been saying the most unnecessary shit and mean things to my girlfriend(ex) now.
This made her hate me and feel insecure about herself and I never meant to hurt her.
Soon I will go to therapy and change for the better, I promised this to her. But I’m afraid it’s too late for us. Obviously my own fault.

But she was the one for me, I only talked to her all day. I have no one, no family and no friends.
I’ve just been lonely and hating myself more and more and more and I feel so guilty for hurting her so much. I never meant to.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to think about suicide again, but I’m afraid I will soon.

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