It’s been just over a year since I’ve gotten out of the hospital for psychiatric care and I had been going amazing, a couple hiccups but otherwise it’s been good. This last week I had my menstrual cycle and I became depressed, this always happened and I expected a low but what I didn’t expect was suicidal thoughts so violent and present, as present as my lowest of lows was. I stopped eating as much and skip a lot of meals and everything hurts because I feel my body on overdrive with all of the thoughts saying that I should kill myself. I also self harmed again which sucks because I really thought I wouldn’t do that again. I want to end it all but I know that I have some trips and work and a lot of stuff I’m doing so I don’t want to drop it again since I am graduating this year and don’t want to miss those opportunities, do I wait it out and hope that things get better and not worse? Or do I have to go to hospital again.
Side Note: The psychiatric area was fine, I was sexually harassed there by another patient but all in all it was fine, I just am embarrassed that I might need to go again although I hope not.