So TW before I start: so basically my life is fine? I got accepted into university and will have the opportunity to move to America which is what I’ve always wanted however I don’t feel excited/happy abt it I’m grateful sure but I’m not happy. TW: I used to SH a few years ago and now my scars are healed however when I see ppl with fresh/more noticeable scars I wish my scars would look like that and that I could SH again which I know is wrong and I wish I didn’t but I do and for some reason I miss the time when I could/did bc idk even know why. I’ve been off my medication for a bit but I wish I wasn’t and have been feeling the same way to how I felt before I started it. I can’t talk abt this to my parents and I’m sorry if this has triggered or bothered anyone but I really just needed to vent and want to know if someone else has felt like this or has any advice.