Struggling right now, and just need somewhere to let it out.
So right now my dad is sick (terminal), my uncle that I’m close with just had a great attack, my little sister who I’m very close with is always teetering between angel and mental breakdown (she has violent outbursts – also she’s a teen), about a month ago I messed up my back really bad which has led to me missing A LOT of work because I can’t move when I wake up in the morning. I’m in pain 24/7 now and my mom is always trying to push me to do everything and guilts me when I tell her I physically can’t do something. She’s done it my whole life, and I’ve learned I’d rather deal with the physical pain rather than the guilt. Financially I’m being screwed. Honestly if it wasn’t for my sister needing someone in her corner, I probably wouldn’t be here.
The only good thing I have right now is my bf, but I’m constantly feeling like I’m a toxic addition to his life because I’m struggling so much in mine. I’ve thought about leaving to save him the trouble of having to deal with me, but I know that would hurt him and I never want to actively cause him pain. Even if I think he would be better off without the mess that is me in his life, I want him to have the decision.
Anyways, the reason for the post. Lately with everything I’m going through and struggling with, all I keep hearing from everyone (but my little sister and bf) is how they have it so much worse and I just need to suck it up because everyone has problems.
These are supposed to be my family and friends. People that should care about me. Think I’m just tired of going through everything alone.
Thanks for listening (reading).