I can’t actually remember what day this all started. I guess importantly I should go back to a few months ago. I was finally officially diagnosed with ADHD and MDD. Since then I’ve been trying a new medication, with the dosage being upped every twoish weeks. As far as I know, I’m finally on the actual dosage that the psychiatrist wants me to be on.
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If I am remembering correctly I should be at the end of the second week of being on this dosage. Last week I was feeling great, ready to get things done and actually doing things. I made plans to spend time with people, I cleaned, I did some studying. This week has been complete different. Every time I get ready to do anything, work, plans, cleaning, studying, etc. I have been getting heart palpitations. I try to push through as I was told by my therapist that it may be the best course of action. Saying something along the lines of “If you convince yourself to get started by doing something small, you’ll be able to continue on just fine.” Except that hasn’t been working for me, especially this week. I’ve tried being productive and have ended up back in bed more than once this week. I’m so frustrated at my lack of production that I have been sitting in the same spot trying to convince myself to do something but I’m pretty damn close to giving up on the day again.