I 38m have been married to 39m for 4 years. We are both trans men, transitioning after 2 years of marriage.
I encouraged my partner to be the best he can be by filling out application and process for grad school. Throughout this time I I didn’t let him worry about chores or the house. I did it all and paid for half the bills.
Made sure he was square, full belly and no worries about the house.
It’s almost a year after grad school is over. Still paying half and doing everything.
During this time I struggled with my mental health. Couldn’t do anything for myself but I would go out of my way for others, especially my spouse. I was vocal about this.
I need words of affirmation. Every once in a while I need to be told that I’m at the very least doing good. Especially from the person I married. You’d think.
The depression made me spiral into a deep depression.
Having the same argument about not being shown that I am appreciated by my partner, despite doing almost everything and paying half the bills… about once a week.
* side note, he makes almost 4x than me, as I am a simple case manager.
I also do all the improvements around the house. I’m not a carpenter or construction worker but I do have the ability to learn from yt. And I did
From changing a toilet to a French drain, to the complete remodel of a room.
I also paid for it all…..
Half the bills
All the work
And now projects.
Well, after the same argument for 2 years. On repeat. I decided it’s time for me to move on.
Now he wants to help
Now he wants to pay
Now he wants counseling ( been asking for about 2.5 years)
I am trapped.
He has control over me. Had me arrested when I asked for a divorce.
Never thought about unaliving self
Until now.
Feels like it’s a better place for me.