Married coming up on 20 years. About a decade ago, wife and I wanted to shake things up in the bedroom. She proposed that we have a 3some. One that consisted of MMF for her fantasy, and one FFM for mine. We went through with hers. After it happened, she decided that she didn’t think she could go through with mine because it would bother her seeing me with another woman, and the fact that finding another female would be too difficult. I have tried to put this behind me multiple times now but still can’t help the fact that I feel slighted and almost tricked into it. I love her but I also have a lot of resentment. Tried to talk it out on numerous occasions and it’s the same old song and dance how we should have never done it in the first place. But we did. And I have this urge to “make things even” just one time. Not for revenge, but if she has one then I should too. My self esteem has tanked and I can’t look at myself in the mirror some days. Looking for different perspectives.
