I feel this pressure in my skull and behind my eyes. I don't know if it is something I make or what. It has became my ordinary feeling since I was forced to fake my mood state with people- I work as waiter but I always used to have social difficulties being awkward and afraid of people. So I started to fake my happiness. Since then I have this flactulations/ pressure in my head and don't feel myself anymore. It's difficult to explain . Then, being rejected or ridiculised by manu people at work I began to feel bad with myself. My ego was attacked. And then I felt evil and had homicidal thoughts and impulse toward my family. I know I did wrong and because of that I'm far away from my family now working in another restaurant. The fact is that since that moment (3-4 years ago) I have flactulations/pressure in my head. I would like to go to my doctor/hospital and ask help but that don't take me seriously and how to explain it. I Moreover my fingers are not the same, lack of consistency, shrink in bone matter (is it osteoporosis?).Red eyes always. I don't feel myself anymore.
