i lost my mother 4-5 years ago and it has been a terrible time ridden with anxiety, depression and, cptsd (I've been to two therapists about it but they have only temporarily helped). I lost her when i was 15, and i am 20 now, living in the city she grew up in since i found my work here. Out of pure coincidence, I'm living in the same area she was brought up, and the area my apartment is in, is in the same name as her, so when im travelling by bus, i have to book my ticket to '(her name) bus top' which i thought was very poetic
until recently when i called my grandparents to try to cheer up after i have a bad breakdown about my mom (usually helps), i called them today morning after a breakdown last night, and i found out my grandfather might get admitted in the hospital, and it scares me cause he's pretty old. I dont know how to cope with this