Why am I getting anxious

I felt a very unusual experience about my past. It continuously trying to convince me that"u are the person who really wants that your mother died and you keep victimised yourself for the rest of your life". It really felt devastated as this thought enhance his impact when u are doing everything wrong in your life..Not taking care of yourself.. pleasuring yourself by unethical way..Not Socialising…Not able to think in a constructive way..All these when combined to the thought of victimising yourself for your mother demises creates a doubt that" why are u living… is anyone gets benefitted by you for existing in your life"

Then my other mind says..u have all the other relations for whom u are the only source of happiness..For them when u are there everything gets easier for them

That's makes me realise that mind is tricking you by the false facts..but u have to work upon your self to convince your mind that this is what I m gonna do and makes all the presumption wrong..

Where m I wrong in order to analyse my mental state..

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