I always try my best, but everyone hates me. I try to be kind and helpful. I do everything I can for people I care about, but I am always excluded. I always get left out. I’m the one who gets less food when someone else cooks. Or the one that gets the food that came out worse. Burnt or broken pieces, less filling, too salty, too oily etc. The one that walks behind or on my own, when in a group. The only nobody listens to. There is never space for me in the car when they go anywhere. Nobody ever thinks about my needs. Who cares if I’m okay? Everyone gets gifts randomly. That kind of “I saw it and thought of you” kind of gift, but not me. Even when I say I would love to have something, I just get ignored. I’m the one that always gets the short end of the stick in every single situation. Uncomfortable seat? “It’s okay, she(me) can sit on it”. Not enough tickets for an event? “It’s okay, we’ll go and she can stay home”. And many more situations. I’m always the “best friend” when they’re alone, but when they find someone, then I’m not needed anymore. I am honestly so tired of being alone. I’ve been trying my whole life and every time I think I have found a friend or a job where I am treated like part of the family, I get disappointed. Why am I so unlovable? Why am I nobody’s favourite person? What do I do that is so wrong? I don’t know how long I can take it. I really want to end it all. There is no way I can survive being so lonely all my life. What is the point?
