I am not "depressed", but rather filled with hate and rage inside. I am paranoid because I believe that all the people around me want to use me for their own purposes and making me a slave. Either this, or they have in general bad intentions.
I started to hallucinate laughter. It just happened only once, I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth when I suddenly heard and felt as if someone was laughing into my left ear.
I have extremely bad nightmares every night about mutilated faces and gore. Sometimes I wake up screaming in panic at night and remember nothing.
It all started when I abandoned religion. I was never a practicing Christian, but when I abandoned Christianity in favor of simple Deism, my problems started to happen.
Now I am cynical, hate the people around me as I see them all as idiots, and I hate to be myself because I am also a part of one of those idiots. I am not saying I'm better than them, it's just that I am aware that I am an idiot and all the other ones aren't.
What the hell is going on with me? I am 26, male, and I'm currently in STEM academia. I just want to be left alone. Either this, or actually having a true change of heart.