man i’m so sick of people, like i just need to vent to some random strangers on the internet. i try so hard to just make friends i don’t care about age as long as they aren’t pedos or overbearing about things. you’d think that i’d have more friends because of that but nope. i try and try. everyone claims “ill be here for you i promise” and it’s always a blatant lie. i have only had a single friend who stuck to that. ironically he’s on this website. but he’s going to kill himself soon. therefore i’ll loose him too. don’t take that as i don’t try to keep him here, i do, but my opinion isn’t a thing. i just seriously want a person in my life who can at least be here for me and stick to that promise. i try to meet people near me, long distance anything. none of them stay, and im told not to blame myself but how do i not. everyone in my life just ends up leaving me. it’s gotten to the point where i see my neighbors front door open and i want to tell them but im scared of conflict or actions towards me because im a young female. no one ever treats me completely right. the person who tells me to keep trying is such a damn hypocrite because he left without a goodbye for a year and then came back and is in the army and therefore has 0 time for himself let alone me. why do people just have to suck. every time i get a good friend i always ruin it. it’s always my mental issues. people suck.
