My mother is homeless living in her car and there is very little I can do to help her. My father hates me and we are no contact. My sister is dying on life support in a nursing home and my girlfriend is in the process of leaving me. I have lost or am about to lose everything.
I’m all alone and you’d think I would be crying or feeling bad for myself. No. Instead I feel literally nothing and my emotions have turned off completely to protect me.
All I can think about is drugs and alcohol and how nice it would be to not feel anything permanently. It just seems pointless to continue. My life isn’t getting better, and it’s never going to.
I just want to be happy about something and I can see myself going down a path with drugs and alcohol that I have no interest in doing… but I’m not sure I can stop myself if things don’t improve.