*not asking for medical advice* just want to rant
Since my late teenage years, l have always suffered from chronic fatigue, secondary to iron deficiency that l get infusions for when low, as well as migraines and mental illness (depression/social anxiety). I spent years at the doctors trying to find answer, none were really given, so l accepted it and moved on.
Recently, I’ve been through a lot of stress with losing my nursing job due to unable to consistently work which l believe was due to the work environment as well as other things..I started experiencing migraines more frequently (every day) for two weeks straight, l could barely bring myself out of bed and do anything. I think that was both mental and physical.
Since then, l have started a new job, and trying to get some sanity back in my life. I started pursuing clarification for why my body seems to be functioning/feeling like I’m 80, instead of being my 23 year old self. Most days l wake up so stiff that l struggle to get out of bed and motivated with the day. I had always suffered with aches and pain here and there, even hear my body cracking as l bend down but it was manageable.
My physical and mental health has put a strain on my relationship, and l don’t really have any friends or anyone l talk to a part from my partner. He’s seen me at my worst physically. I have began taking better care of my stress and mental state, starting to get back to where l used to be, but with these additional symptoms. I have seen a GP, who does seem sympathetic and encouraged me to try to find out whats wrong, but I’ve had simple bloods and became a bit discouraged. My boyfriend and some of my family think l am a hypochondriac, and l can accept that l do suffer from health anxiety, but these symptoms are real- but l am starting to second guess myself.
Recently, we had a big fight (we’re still learning to communicate effectively with each other). We’re alright now, but l know he always talks to him mum about anything in his life. I know l shouldn’t of, but l read his recent messages with her. He hates that l am always complaining of something being wrong. He feels that l am not really doing anything to help myself, which was the case but l have been trying to get myself better recently. What really broke me, is that she also things l am a hypochondriac.
Now, its 4 am in the morning and l can’t sleep, a little upset and frustrated. Not at him, but at myself. I want to believe, yes l probably am making this all up in my head, but a part of me is sick of feeling like this.